Look, when over years and years of marriage, my wife knows that I’m trying with all my heart to love her even as Christ loved the church, then it’s much easier for her to be submissive to my leading.

Likewise, when over many years of marriage, with a gentle and quiet spirit, my wife is submissive and respectful to my leading, it becomes far easier to honor and even “preciousness” her—to seek what’s best for her.

Too often when I do marriage counseling, I hear husbands and wives talk about their marriages as a give and take relationship—like some kind of business. “Well, I took her to dinner last night so I should get to play eighteen holes today.” “Well, I watched the kids while he went to the game so I’m entitled to a night out with the girls.” This isn’t a marriage; it’s a co-op. This isn’t good news!